Other than gifting toys and dresses to your precious little ones, you can gift her some precious values and personality skills, that she will carry on in her life. One of the most important gifts among them is building your child’s self reliance or self confidence. Parenting is not a simple task. Your little boy has failed to solve a simple math problem whereas all other students have solved the problem correctly. Don’t tell him, “See everybody solved it, only you couldn’t!” Say, ” Let’s see why ‘we’ couldn’t solve this problem? ” Help him solve the problem and do not solve it for him. After you help him solve the problem, praise him saying “I really appreciate how you solved it. You have now learnt new concepts. I am sure this will help you solve all similar math problems in future.” There are certain small mistakes we make with our children and we do not notice how these mistakes of ours shape their lives. In this article, I shall talk to you about building self reliance and self confidence.
What is self confidence or self reliance?
Self reliance or self confidence is an amazing personality trait that helps the person to think positively and independently and execute the actions independently, without any dilemma or confusion. A person who is self reliant, can lead his or her life beautifully, keep his/her temper calm in any adverse situation and work systematically. Thus, it is very important that you incorporate self reliance in your kids from an early age.
Why My Kid Cannot Do His Own Work?
We often have this query after we get complaints about our child from the school or day care or the institution where the child is studying. We often get lost overlooking the biggest mistake of ours, that is, protective parenting. What is protective parenting? It is doing your child’s work on behalf of him/her. Why does a parent do such activity? To save time, to prevent any mess that might be created by the child, to demonstrate your unconditional love. What do you need to do? The answer is stop doing this! Here are some guidelines that can help you through the process of building self confidence in your child.
Ways to Build Self Reliance and Self Confidence In your Child
Let Your Child Do Age Appropriate Work
If your little girl is three year old, show her how to comb her hair and put a hair band. This is the work appropriate for her age. If your little boy is around three year old, let him brush his teeth. Other works appropriate for this age range is tying shoe laces, fetching water in a glass from a bottle, eating with own hands, etc. Be prepared that your child will mess up since it’s the “first time”! Don’t scold him/her or do it for him/her. First time is special and let it be special for your kid as well. Encourage him/her to do it, appreciate for the effort s/he gave for doing the work. This will not only boost his/her confidence, but also improve his/her fine motor skills.
Have Faith In Your Child
If your kid wants to fetch water in a glass from a bottle, do not stop him from doing. Do not burden him with the possibility of failures. Just tell him, “Sure, do it. I know you can”. This simple assurance from you will be enough to boost his confidence and strengthen your bonding.
Indulge Your Child In Group Activity
Group activity is a must for developing self reliance. Encourage your child to play with her friends. Give her some fixed age-appropriate household chores, so that she can learn doing things unitedly with others, learn to respect others’ opinion and so on. She will consider herself as an important member of the family and will gain self respect.
Give Your Child Limited Choice
You ask your son, what he wants to have in dinner and he says, chocolate ice cream. You then involve yourself in argument because no one eats ice cream for dinner. But you gave your child a full range of options and the child chose one item from that entire. So, the fault is yours. Instead ask him, what do you want for dinner among pasta, bread and rice. He can not only make the choice sensibly, but also learn what people eat for dinner.
Your Child Doesn’t Want Sarcasm From You
If your child draws a picture, which is not visually appealing, never laugh or make sarcastic comments. It breaks their self confidence. If your child fails to do a simple task, or understand a simple problem, do not call him names like “idiot”, “stupid”, “fool”, etc. For your child, you are the source of encouragement and not the source of dejection.
Keep A Free Unstructured Time For Your Child
This is a very important part of your child’s upbringing. Give your little one, a free unstructured time to spend in whatever way he/she wants. He may just sit idle and do nothing. Keep him away from smartphone or any gadget. Do not overburden him/her with hobbies. This unstructured time will bloom creativity in his/her mind.
Finally, make a point to create a positive happy environment for your child. Have a happy parenting.
Read More: How To help Your Child Deal With Bullying?