Sometimes, children leave us extremely embarassed with their tantrums over frivolous things. For example, you have visited a shopping mall with your son, and he starts demanding expensive toys, or some unnecessary stuffs. You tell him not to demand things like that, and he burst out at you. He screams and starts rolling on the floor crying. Many parents might have handled this situation. How do parents deal with this situation in general? Either, they give him what he wants, to avoid the embarrassment or they end up hitting the child or scolding him.
Either of the above mentioned reactions of the parent is bad and harmful for the child in the long run. Why? If you surrender to your child and give him what he wants, he will learn that this behaviour of his, can give him anything he wants. As a result, he will start behaving similarly, everytime he has to make any unjust demand. Again, if you hit him publicly, he will become hateful towards you, because he will remember that his parents bought what they want, but did not give him what he wanted. He wont understand logic unless you explain him. So, you understand by now, that logical explanation is the only solution for tantrums, other than some simple actions.
In this article, I shall talk about temper tantrums in children and how to erase this tantrum from their characters, without being violent to them. This is applicable to both boys and girls. Here, I have referred as “he”.
What Not To Do When They Have A Burst Out?
- Never hit them or scold them loudly, because it aggravates their anger. They may stop doing that for the time being, because they are weak compared to you, but in the long run, they learn aggression and violence, and will do similar behaviour with other weak children in school or in general.
- Never lock them in a room as it scares them immensely. Scaring a child is the worst thing a parent can do. You must be his confidante and not his threat.
- Never leave them in a room alone, because they may lock the room from inside and create ruckus.
- Do not surrender to the tantrum. This point has been explained earlier also. Surrendering gives them the idea to exploit the parent or any other person in similar way, in future.
What To Do When They Have A Burst Out While In Your Home?
This is a step by step method, so read them in order, so that you can understand what to do:
- The first and the most important thing is to keep yourself calm and cool mentally.
- If your child is screaming and hitting you, pick him up firmly, take him in a safe and isolated space of your home, where other members may not be able to interfere. Keep him there until he calms down.
- In this timespan, do not talk to him or involve yourself in any sort of altercation.
- Avoid eye contact with the child. The child may try to grab your attention but do not keep direct eye contact with him.
- This cold behaviour of yours will make him think of his behaviour. The next thing he would do, is ask you for food, water or something else. He wants assurance if you still care for him. Provide him what he asks for, but maintain the cold behaviour.
- Later, give him a hug and tell him that you were very upset with his behaviour. If he continues to do so, no one will accept him. Explain him that he was wrong.
How To Deal With Temper Tantrum In Public Place
- First, make sure your child is having a proper sleep cycle and is eating healthy food, So, if he starts crying or nagging, ask him if he is hungry or tired. If he is tired, it is better to not make him walk or wait more.
- Secondly, before going out of home, give him a warning that if he throws tantrum, you will come back home straight even if you have not purchased anything. And that should be the case. If he starts throwing tantrum, take him back home immediately.
- Third, children often demand parents to buy them toys because they find their parents buying whatever they want. So, they expect the same for themselves. Hence, before going out, discuss with him, what you are going to buy, and what you will buy for him. This discussion will make him feel important, and he will act in a ore matured way.
This is all for now. I shall come up with more parenting tips. Never say no to your child. A “NO” without an explanation can cause adverse effect. So, always explain him logically.